Thursday, March 24, 2011

So, the final candidate for Grand Poobah of my denomination has been publicly announced.  Frankly, this decision won't make much difference at all for most people's lives.  I'm trying to remain conscious of this in the midst of feeling greatly depressed and agitated about it myself.  I'm more involved with denominational matters than most, so it affects me somewhat more.  I also used to entertain thoughts of maybe being on denominational staff someday.  By "used to," I mean up until yesterday.  I'm now pretty dubious that a) I would ever be hired while this person is at the top of the staff pyramid, and b) I would be interested in doing the work that is likely to be part of where we will be headed.  It's frustrating.

On some level, I feel like this decision, while not about me, has communicated something about my place in this denomination.  Like that I don't have one.  And unlike normal, sane people, I don't really know how to not be involved at the denominational level.  So I'm not sure what that means for me, but at the moment, it doesn't feel good.

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